Triumphs, Tears and the Torture Chamber.: What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger

Hell Week has Come and Gone… well, sort of!

Last weekend was pretty great. Annie, my friend from Bikram Yoga Portsmouth was in LA for a conference last week. She stopped by TT on Friday and took class with me. We grabbed some dinner real quick before I had to be back for posture clinic. It was SO nice to get out of this hotel and have a discussion with a “normal” person and not a crazy yoga trainee. On Saturday, after our morning class I took a second “Team Saturday” class before heading to the beach with Laura and Lascel for some studying, a photo session, and some honey lattes. Ohhh yeah, talk about delish?! They were so good that Laura and I went back for seconds to warm us up after watching the sunset over the Pacific. Sunday, I went to a Farmer’s Market with Dan and Amane. This place was amazing! I spent so much money but it was money well spent. They had tons of local produce; I stalked up on fruits and veggies and of course, lots and lots of grapes. There was this local, organic, stone-ground chocolate… umm yeah! A whole new level of cocoa love! After the market, Laura (who is also an avid Patriots fan) found a sports bar near our hotel where we watched the Patriots game. We won’t talk about the score but I think Laura and I found our new Sunday hot spot for some yoga procrastination with the football crowd.

Monday we had our Anatomy final. Second easiest test I’ve ever taken. The only easier exam was the midterm! Of course, having a healthcare background helped, but so did Dr. P. He was the first teacher that I’ve had who made anatomy interesting and enjoyable. So now that anatomy is over, posture clinics take up the majority of our day. There was one day this week where we had to deliver four, yes FOUR, postures in one day! I have been struggling a bit with the dialogue. I “learn” it and then when I get up in front of the group to say it, I freeze. I can’t remember anything. I forget everything on the page so trying to remember which line comes next seems impossible. One teacher had me take down my hair, shake my head around (think exotic dancer style) and then run around the room. I had to do laps, faster and faster each time. Then she made me start the dialogue again and I did a lot better. I guess it got the nerves out and the energy up. It worked! Too bad I can’t run around the room every time… that wouldn’t fly in the real yoga classroom.

Our “hot” seems to have a mind of it’s own, either that or the people operating the heaters, like to mess with us. I think the latter sounds a bit more realistic. We have had classes that were only 95F, classes that were 120F and on Thursday, it was so hot that Bikram himself told the staff to turn it down. “Boss, turn off one heater. 120F is okay but 140F is too hot. I can’t stand here or I burn my feet!” Now that is something I never expected to hear, Bikram saying it was too hot?! Can you imagine being in a room that hot filled with 450 people sweating their yoga butts off?! What if I told you that the night before we were up until 4:30am watching a Bollywood film. Yeah, a solid two hours of sleep before two scorching yoga classes. Oy vey! People were dropping like flies. Bikram joked that he should change to the name to “Bikram’s Mortuary Yoga” with all of the “dead bodies” leaving the room! The inconsistency with the heat means we never know if it’s going to be a “normal” hot room, a cold hot room, or a scorching hot room. I think that is intentional though… the whole “we can’t control it so we shouldn’t worry about it” lesson.

On top of that, we had some other late night Bikram lectures as well as a visiting lecturer. John Burras, a Mind-Body Therapist, came and spoke to us on Thursday and Friday, amid our exhaustion, we listed to him talk about fascia. Never have I heard that word said so many times… who knew fascia was such a hot topic! He talked about “What is fascia?” and “Emotional Anatomy.” A lot of people thought his ideas were cuckoo, but I honestly thought he might be onto something. I’m not saying I agree 100% with his philosophy but I am saying that I believe there is some validity to his ideas. I’m skeptical yet open-minded, so I hear what he’s saying but I need to evaluate it for myself before deciding whether I agree or not with this theory.

At the end of our evening yoga class, we got some fantastic news… the rest of the night off!!! I have never seen so much energy emitting from a single room in my life. That hot room exploded with hooting and hollering, every last one of us was completely and entirely stoked about having Friday night off… and we needed it! I went out for sushi with a group of people in Venice. I felt like a normal human being interacting with the real world. It was fabulous. Never in my life have I gotten so many compliments on how “pretty” I looked! A little makeup and a pair of blue jeans goes a long way in the yoga bubble when everyone is used to being in t-shirts and sweats.

Saturday was fun. Laura and I went for a massage, a couple’s massage at that! Thank goodness because if we had been in separate rooms, and I was by myself, I probably would have booked it out of there. It was my first Thai massage, so the environment was different from what I’m used to. Just imagine two beds, Laura and I each being straddle by two tiny Asian women, who were contorting our bodies and kicking the you-know-what out of us. In the end, I’m so glad I didn’t leave – that massage was just what the doctor ordered. It hurt but in a very good way. Afterwards, we relaxed with some lattes at a café and put on our studious glasses to study dialogue. Dialogue. Dialogue. Dialogue. We might have taken some gossip breaks, but hey, everyone needs a little distraction now and again! Speaking of which, I plan on giving myself a 3-hourish distraction again today to watch the Patriots (hopefully) do some damage to the Jets. It’s the little things in life, and for me, enjoying a little football on Sundays is a great way to keep me sane when so many people here are beginning to lose it.

People are freaking out and having meltdowns. Everywhere I turn, someone is crying, screaming, throwing something, and just about everyone is contemplating leaving. It might not be the best idea to have our hotel located IN the runway! I’ve heard stories about the “Hell Week” reputation that week 5 is known for, it seems to be no exception at this teacher training. The good news for us… hell week continues into week 6. They warned us that posture clinics are going to be even more intense (not that I can really imagine that!) and that we should expect to know 2-3 postures a day! Yikes! I’m struggling with the dialogue, which is frustrating. Having difficulty with one posture per day is tough, so it worries me when I need to learn more than that successfully. What scares me the most is being able to recall all 26 postures that I’ve “learned” and teach an entire class… when I struggle with just ONE!

Eventually, in the future, I WILL know this dialogue!!!

The best part is that despite the frustrations, tears, fits of rage, and whatever else we feel here, everyone else is feeling it too. We are becoming this great, big, supportive family. We get it. We get each other. No one else from home, friends or family can really understand this process and what we are going through, but there are 442 other yogis who know EXACTLY what it feels like. Just a few short weeks ago, I knew no one, not a single person here at the Radisson at LAX. Now, I’ve made some amazing life-long bonds and friendships. Despite being crazy (and yes, we can openly admit that), this group of strangers is growing fast into a kind, compassionate, loving and supportive family. It amazes me just united such a large group of people from all over the world can become, and in such a short period of time. Teacher Training Fall 2012 – I love you all!

Namaste!